


Say Goodnight Motherfucker

by soldierhawthorne



Series: Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out. [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: BAMF Billy, M/M, Monster Hunting AU, Monsters, monster fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:32:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldierhawthorne/pseuds/soldierhawthorne
Summary: “I’m a motherfuckin’ monster slayer.” Billy says looking like the smug asshole he is.or where Billy saves Steve's ass





	Say Goodnight Motherfucker

The forest around them was quiet and all Steve could hear was Billy’s maniacal laughter, and sickening screeches filling the air. He was laid out on his ass feeling like he just got hit by a fucking bus. With the size of this creature, he might as well have. 

He’d really thought he was fucked before Billy showed up like his goddamn knight in shining armor. 

They’d been researching these so-called animal attacks throughout Calico Rock, Arkansas. When Billy had left to con his way into some information fake FBI badge in hand, Steve offered to go out on his own. They hadn’t actually seen the scene of any of the attacks, and he’d explained it’d be faster. Of course, Billy said no. Since Steve’s a pretty spiteful guy, he went anyways. 

He was also so damn sick of being holed up in the hotel room, so there was that too.

He had really only gone out to look for clues in the woods, anything to figure out what might be doing the attacks because there’s always evidence cops overlook. He really hadn’t betted on actually stumbling across the said ‘animal’. 

When Steve ran across a set of tracks, too big to be any animal around here than on top of that fucking discovered the slime that clung to the prints he had been so ready to shove it in Billy’s face. He was a fucking capable guy. He didn’t need Billy’s help fucking scoping out a crime scene. 

But apparently, the universe had decided Steve just hadn’t had enough yet. And right when he’d been running over in his head just how he was gonna tell Billy to suck it, as if on cue. He’d felt something wet and warm dripping down his shoulder.  _ It’s fucking behind me, isn’t it? _ Steve had felt like he was in some cliche horror movie and he was the dumb bitch that went right into the killer's layer. 

The lizard thing had gotten the jump on him before Steve could even swing on it the creature had knocked his bat out of his hands and sent him flying.

It’s ugly ass looking motherfucker like a fucking radioactive lizard had a baby with the worlds nastiest spider.  Its pinchers dripped thick goop onto the grass and it had its black beady eyes focused on Billy. Steve doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to get this image out of his head. All that work he and Billy put into getting rid of his nightmares, gone out the window right with Steve’s damn pride. 

As Steve had been kissing his ass goodbye, Billy appeared ax slung back against his shoulder “Harrington, I swear to god if I had a dollar--” Before promptly smashing the absolute shit out of the thing. 

And yeah sure Billy wound up having to get Steve out of some bad situations, well a lot of them.  But it wasn’t like Steve was some damsel in distress. 

Whatever.

Maybe he was. 

Steve sat up just in time to watch as Billy grinned all teeth before raising the rusty ax in his hands, bringing it down on the creature in front of him with a  _ squish.  _ It had been towering over Billy just minutes before but now laid curled in on itself in the dirt.

The creature hissed and started to convulse wildly, its more than half-dozen limbs reaching out in an attempt to defend himself, to fight off Billy. 

Yeah, the thing was fucked.

There was no hope for that sorry monstrosity.

If Steve wasn’t so fucking terrified, he might be pretty damn turned on. He knew Billy was strong. Incredibly strong. He’d seen first hand what the guy could do with just his hands. But give him a weapon, and he’s fucking unstoppable. 

Black gunk splattered from the thing as Billy brought the ax down again, then again before swinging it through the air hitting with a final thud. 

Even with monster blood covering his hair, clothes, and everything else Billy Hargrove was still fucking gorgeous. 

How was it even fair?

But Steve doesn’t have much time to think about that because its head slides clean off before landing and rolling right into his lap with a sickening noise. 

He definitely doesn’t scream. 

Yeah, that noise definitely didn’t come from him. Nope.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Billy. I think it was fucking dead the second time!” He yelps then gags scrambling to his feet watching the head splat on the ground.

“Sorry, princess was an accident.” But Billy’s grinning trying to hold himself together, quickly failing and doubling over his shoulders shaking with laughter. “Oh my fucking-- Your face, holy shit-- He got out between fits.

“Oh fuck off,” Steve mutters wiping at the slime now covering his whole upper body, only succeeding in making it worse. The fucking  _ smell _ almost has his him dry heaving. 

His laughter dies down as he makes his way over to Steve, kicking the monsters head across the field with a triumphant grin then making a touchdown gesture with his hands. 

“Baby, you didn’t think I’d let that big bad thing get you.” He smirks now standing in front of Steve  “I’m a motherfuckin’ monster slayer.” Billy says looking like the smug asshole he is. 

Then Steve’s grinning too unable to stay angry, watching Billy pull his pack of Marlboros out of jacket pocket then wipe his hand off on the back of his jeans before lighting up his cigarette. Billy’s shoulders sag in something that might be relief, relief that Steve’s safe. The best word to describe him right now might just be, unbothered. 

Which might sound fucking crazy considering Billy just went up with something that came straight from another dimension. It was something that might have some people cracking up and heading straight to some nut house. Hell, this was Steve’s job,  _ his life _ , and he was nothing short of haunted. 

But with Billy, this was Billy’s element. This was what Billy was good at, what got his blooding racing and adrenaline pumping. He lived for this shit. He did it for fun. While Steve did it to save people, to make the world safer. 

“Yeah, yeah. Best monster slayer around, babe.” He leans down to pick up his discarded bat, making a face when half the thing stays on the ground in a mess of splinters and nails.

Billy watches puffing on his cigarette “Damn tough break, sweetheart. It’s been going strong three years guess it was bound to go at some point.” He shrugs taking in all the pieces of wood that used to be Steve’s bat. “I’ll miss that thing. Looked real badass.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Steve mutters staring at it for a long moment. It was pretty much all he had left of their past in Hawkins. One of the only things he’d taken with him besides money and clothes. Now it was gone. 

Steve shrugs. 

He tosses the now wrecked bat towards the decapitated beast's body, letting out a sigh. Billy’s arm goes around him and  Steve blindly lets him lead him to wherever he parked the Camaro. 

“Whatever. Fuck it.” Steve looks over to Billy cringing when he notices the monster blood now drying up all over his fingers is starting to transfer onto the cigarette. Like always Billy doesn’t care. He just takes another long drag, then another. 

Billy meets his gaze, giving him  _ that  _ fucking look.

“Don’t you dare say I fucking told you so.” He holds up a finger “Not a fucking word, alright?” 

“What? I wasn’t gonna say shit!” Billy laughs throwing his head back “I know you had it, baby. That thing probably just was playing dirty. You’ll get ‘em time huh?” He smiles pulling Steve into his side ruffling his hair. 

Steve squawks reaching back to feel where his hair now stuck up stiffly at wild angles. “You sonova-” But Billy cuts him off by pressing their lips together. 

“Y’know monster guts don’t look half bad on you.” He smirks pulling away to kiss his temple. Steve just grumbles and leans into Billy. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> wrote this randomly because i haven't written in forever and just want an au where billy and steve straight up hunt monsters like the winchesters. because why not. thinking about making this a series who knows


End file.
